6. Looking for the most pro-gun, pro-life, pro-war, pro-Jesus candidate.
5. I’m more afraid of gays than global warming
4. Just doing what the voices in my head tell me to do.
3. Sick and tired of waiting for the Rapture.
2. I really, really like Tina Fey.
1. Stupid Diebold machine!

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6. Fire and brimstone
5. Sticking glo-sticks up Iraqi *sses for cash
4. Rigging energy markets
3. Selling drugs to Rush Limbaugh
2. Gay Man-Whores in White House Press Corps
1. Making money the old fashioned way: imperialism

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6. The Frog Quarter
5. Snorkelvannia
4. The Big Estuary
3. Mer de Gras
2. Bush Bayou
1. New Orlantis

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