No, wait, sorry. That was just a misleading URL address. Cheeky fundamentalist Christians! It turns out to be much worse than free sex. Free sex is bad, you ask? Yes, free sex is bad. Conservative Republican principles clearly dictate that the free market should set the price for sex. If you give the milk away for free, the cow is clearly a communist. And lousy in bed.
6. McCain is the most pro-gun, pro-life, pro-war, pro-Jesus candidate
5. I’m more afraid of gays than global warming
4. Obama reminds me of Webster
3. McCain’s all white by me!
2. I really, really like Tina Fey
1. Stupid Diebold machine
6. when the ice caps melt, Florida will be the first to go
5. cold no longer an obstacle to seeking asylum in Canada
4. formal wear, meet swimwear
3. Texas summers will be fatal
2. restitution by Hummer drivers: slave labor on kelp plantations
1. no more winter olympics!
The more Congress examines the Bush administration’s bailout plan, the hazier its outcome gets. At a Senate Banking Committee hearing Tuesday, lawmakers on both sides of the aisle complained of being rushed to pass legislation or else risk financial meltdown.
“The secretary and the administration need to know that what they have sent to us is not acceptable,” says Committee Chairman Chris Dodd, D-Conn. The committee’s top Republican, Alabama Sen. Richard Shelby, says he’s concerned about its cost and whether it will even work.
In fact, some of the most basic details, including the $700 billion figure Treasury would use to buy up bad debt, are fuzzy.
“It’s not based on any particular data point,” a Treasury spokeswoman told Forbes.com Tuesday. “We just wanted to choose a really large number.”
Huh. This sounds awfully familiar. Where have I heard this before? Oh right. I think it went something like this:
Bush: Gentlemen, I have a plan. It’s called blackmail. The Royal Family of Saudi Arabia are the wealthiest oil barons in the world. Either the Royal Family pays us an exorbitant amount of money, or we make it known that one of their princes, Osama bin Laden, is a terrorist hell bent on attacking the United States and provoking us into two unwinable wars in the Middle East.
Cheney: [clears throat to interrupt, speaks in lowered voice] Osama bin Laden *did* attack the United States. He admitted it on TV. We invaded two countries because of it.
Mel Gibson’s movie Apocalypto [1] is set during the violent decline of the Maya civilization when thousands of human sacrifices were being made by barbaric rules in a desperate attempt to preserve their power. Somehow that sounds vaguely familiar, doesn’t it?
Apparently Mel Gibson had the same thought and used the Bush administration as inspiration, saying it callously plays on the nation’s insecurities to maintain power.
“The fear-mongering we depict in the film reminds me of President Bush and his guys”. [2]
Obviously that’s a bit hyperbolic. Neither Bush or Cheney are Jewish.
Have a credit card balance? Of course you do, you’re an American. Did you know that the Department of Homeland Defense (DHS) thinks it is highly suspicious and un-American if you make large payments to pay off your debt? Of course you don’t, you’re an American – you follow American Idol, not American politics.
It’s true – the DHS can hold your check for days, even weeks, while they investigate your transaction as a possible threat to national security. No search warrant, no probable cause, no notification, no appeals process, no oversight. No kidding.
Would someone please explain to me what bathroom attendants are for? Instructing foreigners on the proper use of urinals? Making sure someone witnesses how poorly my stomach handles triple-cheese calzones and double-espressos? Punishment for insolent employees?